About a year ago, I had been having a rough period in my life where I was yet again questioning why God chose not to reach out to me in a physical manner. If we are tactile people and are created in God’s image, than why does he choose not to physically touch us?
One Sunday I sat in church, humble, broken, and hurting. As I sat there with my head bowed I felt the Spirit breath on the back of my neck. I was stunned. I was relieved. I relished this physical confirmation of God’s presence.
About nine months later I was sitting in church and felt the same breath on my neck. Only this time I realized that the fresh spring breeze was blowing through the open window behind me. My analytical mind kicked in and I was angry! What I had felt earlier was nothing more than the wind. It wasn’t God at all! I was again bitter at God’s refusal to reach out and be physically with me.
Recently, I was sharing these experiences with a friend who encouraged me to acknowledge that maybe God can use the wind to breath afresh on me. If he created the earth, he knows how it all works and could easily command the wind today just like he did in Mark 4. My friend suggested that maybe I should be intentional about recognizing that God’s touch may not look or feel like I expect it.
With that in mind, I sat in church a couple Sundays ago and felt the spring breeze through the window. I smiled knowingly and thanked God for his touch. Within moments of my thankfulness the lady sitting behind me asked me to close the window because the breeze was making her cold.
ARGH!! NO!!! I had just acknowledged that God was touching me and this lady was asking me to stop his touch. I was frustrated, to say the least.
Again I relayed this experience to my friend and he started laughing! He suggested that this may be God acknowledging my recognition of his touch. He went on to explain that God wants to show me that he does hear me and that this could be a humorous way to get my attention. I’ve sat with that for a couple of weeks and decided to let this be my attitude. God does reach out to me. It just may not look like I expect.
So last Sunday, the nfcBrass helped lead worship in church, as we’ve been doing for more than 20 years. As we sat on the platform several of us were having issues with the wind blowing our music off the music stands. Now keep in mind that this is the first time I can remember having this problem in the sanctuary of NFC. Several of us were using clips to secure our music to the stand. In fact one person had to finish playing the song we were playing by reading his music off the floor!
I am choosing to believe that God is yet again trying to get my attention. He has shown me that he DOES want to reach out and touch me. I just need to be open to the way HE wants to do it. I’m thankful for this renewed awareness of God’s presence in my life in this funny and very physical way.
Now, does anyone know where I can get tornado insurance? I think maybe I should get prepared!